Fish Shakes
by lovergirl85
Summary: Hermann thinks Newton isn't feeding Hilda. Then he wants to know how Newton is feeding Hilda. Continuation to A Proper German Name. Cross-posted to AO3


It was about a week after Hilda had been named and Hermann agreed to help Newt with her. Hermann had gone to get Newt and himself some food. Newt very rarely left the lab these days. The first time he had left to take a shower Hilda had pitched a minor fit. And by 'minor' Newt and Hermann had to figure out a way to request new chalk boards and shelves with raising suspicion about _why_ they needed them in the first place. They hadn't figured it out yet, so were making do with cracked boards and crooked shelves. Luckily nobody came down to the lab anymore. The Kaiju threat was over. There was no need to.

Hilda _seemed_ to like Hermann well enough. She stopped growling every time he came into the lab, at any rate, and now seemed to regard his gruff mutter of 'abomination' as her own personal nickname. Her tail thumped every time he said it and if Hermann happened to start thinking it was cute…well, Newton absolutely did not need to know.

He and Newton had talked about why Hilda seemed so attached to Newt and the best they had come up with was she imprinted on him through the drift. Hermann had argued against that because he drifted with a Kaiju brain, too, but Newt pointed out that he had drifted twice. Maybe it took a few times to imprint. Since Hilda was their only subject, there wasn't exactly a whole lot of data on the subject.

Hermann and Newt were bent over their work on their respective sides, the silence broken only by the sounds of chewing and pencils scribbling against paper. Hermann was working on an equation that would hopefully help solve the power problems they'd been having when Hilda, for lack of a better word, mewled pitifully. Hermann froze, his fork halfway to his mouth and he turned to look at Hilda.

She stretched out flat on the floor on her belly, her head roughly level with Hermann and her eyes peering as soulfully as a Kaiju could at Hermann. Hermann slowly lowered his fork, desperately trying to ignore the way her eyes tracked the movement.

"Newton, what does Hilda eat?" Newt barely looked up.

"Fish." His voice was completely deadpan and Hermann scowled.

"Newton! This is serious! Hilda has to eat or did you forget that?" Now Newt looked up.

"I am being serious! She eats fish! Or fish shakes, because she doesn't have teeth yet and I don't want her to choke. Why?" His eyes flickered to Hilda understanding dawned on his face.

"Because your abomination is _begging,_" Hermann hissed. "Where, pray tell, did she learn to _beg?"_ Newton laughed, scratching the back of his head.

"She's patterning her behavior after a dog. More specifically after a dog I had when I was younger. I think she saw how much everyone liked him and figured that was the best way to get people to like her." He frowned. "And why is it every time she does something you don't like she's my abomination? That's really rude, by the way – "

"Newton! Feed her so she _stops_ begging!" Hermann decided to take small comfort in the fact that apparently Hilda was resorting to begging before resorting to eat people. Newt coughed.

"She, uh, she already ate. She's latched onto the concept of dessert," he explained, now looking a little embarrassed. "She doesn't get dessert for two weeks for destroying the lab. I think she's hoping I forgot. Or you'll cave and give her some." Hermann glared before deciding to ask the questions he didn't want to ask.

"You said she didn't have teeth _yet_."

"Uh, yeah," Newt answered. "She's going to teeth someday."

"She's going to _teeth?_" Hermann repeated, unable to keep the horrified note out of his voice. Newt blinked.

"Well, yeah," he said, his tone of voice making obvious that Hermann ought to have thought of that himself. Of course he should have. "But until then, fish shakes." Hermann shuddered at that image.

"And how did you get the fish to make these fish shakes?" He demanded. Newt had that fidgety, guilty look on his face again. He scuffed his shoe against the concrete and looked over at Hilda, who had lost interest in the conversation and had curled up and was chewing on her tail. Newt smiled goofily at her. Hermann ignored the drool that was burning a small hole in the floor.

"Newton!" Hermann snapped, getting his attention back because Newton's behavior was indicative that this was something Hermann couldn't just let slide. Newt jumped and sent Hermann a pleading looking. Hermann crossed his arms.

"ImayhavebargainedHannibalChau'sshoeforthefish," he said in a rush. It was Hermann's turn to blink.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry, I must have heard you wrong. I thought you said you bargained _Hannibal Chau's_ shoe for fish," he said through gritted teeth.

"I did, actually," New muttered.

"And _who_ would bargain Hannibal Chau's shoe for several hundred pounds of fish for an indefinite period of time?" Hermann didn't really want to know the answer.

"Well," Newt said, playing with his fingernails. "Hannibal would."

In hindsight, it was a good idea that Hilda was there because Hermann would've happily killed his fellow scientist. As it were, Hilda was now crouching over Newt protectively, growling enough to make the trays on the desk rattle and Hermann had ensconced himself safely across the lab away from Newt and Hilda.

"Shut her up! For God's sake, Newton, _shut her up!"_ Hermann hissed. Newton was already scrambling to his feet and making soothing, shushing noises, running his hands over Hilda's snout and talking quietly. Hermann watched her warily and when he was certain she wasn't about to lunge at him, he hobbled around the lab and starting up machinery to try and mask the vibrations should anyone outside the lab notice. Hilda slowly calmed down, dropping out of the defensive posture while Newt concentrated on her. Only after his task was completed did he tune into Newt's words.

"…shh, sh, see its okay. Hermann does this all the time, he's just playing, shh, he's just an old fuddy-duddy, wouldn't hurt a fly –"

"I wouldn't hurt a fly, but I would hurt you," Hermann growled, but there wasn't any real heat behind it and Newt shot him a winning smile. Hermann harrumphed and turned away to continue eating. If Newt wasn't going to get Hilda outside until they were certain no one had noticed the disturbance than that wasn't Hermann's problem. He looked at his tray and blinked.

It was completely empty. Even the fork was gone.

"New_ton_," Hermann snarled, turning around to give the other man a piece of his mind…or actually commit murder, he wasn't sure which yet.

"Uhh…gotta get Hilda outside, Herm! See you in a bit!" Newt was already rushing towards the bay door and Hermann glared after him before snatching up his tray and marching towards the door to return it to the cafeteria.

He and the abomination would have to have a heart-to-heart later about stealing food.


End file.
